Trying Something New

I am 37 years old and have dated black men all of my life with the exception of one Hispanic guy when I was in high school.  I love black men but am truly wondering if they love me back???? With that said, I am venturing to try something new, interracial dating, yes I am moving on to dating white men. Now, I said earlier that I love black men, hell my daddy is black and my son is black and these are the two most important men in my life however I am going to try something new and open myself up to dating outside my race.

Being that my 20th high school reunion is less than a year away and I attended a high school that had a 99% black student population that is located in Miami’s inner-city, I can really imagine the looks from my classmates when I am escorted by a white man to all our reunion events!!!

My cousin constantly tells me to come to New York as the white men there love black women but I live in Atlanta and there has to be a population of white men here who feel the same way. I even read a blog today where the lady suggested visiting other countries is a good way to find white men who desire black women.  While I don’t doubt both of these are great pieces of advice, I can not get to New York or outside of the USA right now so I have to believe that my “Mr. White” is out there, right here in the ATL and I will definitely keep you all updated on me trying something new!!!

Keep your head up and love one another!!!

Do I Really Belong to These People????

I just returned from a family gathering for my auntie’s birthday. Looking around at my family, I said silently to myself, do I really belong with these people?? It wasn’t a statement about their sanity because God knows they are crazy but more so a question about me. When I pulled up to my aunt’s home, her new Mercedes E-350 was in the garage next to her old BMW. In the driveway was my other aunt’s Mercedes coupe and next to her car was my sister’s red BMW 328i. A few moments later my cousin arrived in her black Mercedes E-Class and my younger cousin pulled up in her Acura which she received from her mother after she purchased her Mercedes. Now, while I am somewhat materialistic, I definitely have improved over time but it made me wonder, why don’t  I drive a luxury vehicle, oh because I choose to follow a dream and not a job or maybe that’s my excuse. Someone told me that the time often comes when you must let go of your dream and face the 9 to 5 rat race. Is that what my life has come to, I must give up a dream, a dream of running a conglomerate of a nonprofit, of helping youth expand, grow, and succeed, of attending graduations and taking young people on trips only to see the sparkle in their eyes when they experience something new, is this where I am right now. 

Do I live in Atlanta because this is a city I love or is this a city where I don’t have to face my family or not face my reality, the reality that says I have failed, or I am not a success or as successful as my family. Do you think my family considers me “that one”, you know there’s a “that one” in every family, the one who didn’t do this or did that, am I “that one”?? I hope I am not but I have to ask myself am I.

When looking at my family, I must look at me, and wonder do I really belong with these people? I don’t know but for right now I must take responsibility for myself, my choice, and my position in life. While I do enjoy the flexibility of my current volunteer position, I can only pray that it is voluntarily for a short time and not too much longer because I would really like to blend in with my family and not have to wonder do I belong!!!

Remember to keep your head up and love one another!!

And This is Suppose to be The Black Mecca!!!

I am watching the news tonight here in Metro Atlanta.  I have lived in Atlanta/Metro Atlanta for nearly 20 years and one of the reasons that I love Atlanta is because of all of it’s Black History. Nevertheless, tonight I am totally perturbed.  Let me get back on track…….Mr. James Paschal, co-founder of the famed Paschal Brothers Restaurant died last week and his funeral services will be held tomorrow.  While this is an important story, what upset me is that it was not aired until 11:13 pm as a sort of after thought.  Now I am aware of all that is going on in the world with the economy, housing issues, and terrorism yet this is Atlanta, the home of the Civil Rights Movement, if any city should bring major attention to this story it should be the news media here in Atlanta.

I began my college career at Clark Atlanta University in 1990 and while it is one of many HBCU’s (that’s Historically Black Colleges and Universities for those who don’t know) I can not clearly remember them discussing the importance of Atlanta and all the key players from Atlanta as far as the Civil Rights Movement.

Yes I know that Dr. King lived here and he went to Morehouse and The MLK Memorial Center is here and while I am by NO MEANS devaluing his importance what I am saying is, what about EVERYBODY else that worked besides or behind him!!!!!! Why didn’t we learn that Dr. King and others planned many major events in the movement right in Paschal Brothers Restaurant.

This reminded me of a field trip I arranged for a large group of youth in Miami. A few years ago my organization, Xposure, worked with The City of Miami Gardens Parks and Recreations department and we coordinated their cultural arts programming and I wanted to make sure that our black youth learned about the historic “Black” places in Miami. I wanted them to understand that Liberty City and Overtown were not simply “the hood” or that Miami Northwestern was not simply the home of The Bulls but that it was the first high school for blacks born out of the dream of Dana A. Dorsey. D.A. Dorsey, a black millionaire, who gifted a large plot of land to Dade County(this was before Miami was added to the county name) to be used for a school for blacks. Dorsey educated the black youth of Liberty City and from there Miami Northwestern Sr. High School was born.  When people go Overtown they need to be aware that the “Big White House” was the home for D.A. Dorsey. There is history and importance that everyone should know about.

This brings me to the reason that I am blogging tonight and once again reconfirms that I MUST get my television show, I thought Atlanta was suppose to be the black mecca. While there are many, many, many blacks here who are doing the damn thang  we can not forget all of those who allowed these dreams to take place. And not just the ones in the forefront or who happen to make it into the history books but the restaurant/hotel owner or the hair care provider or the local seamstress, whoever the person was they need to be represented and remembered. When our black youth learn that they come from greatness and see it more in the mainstream media they may be more prone to want to walk in the footsteps of that greatness.  I love Atlanta and all of it’s blackness but tonight I am truly disappointed with the lack of black love and black pride that I am seeing or perhaps simply not seeing. Maybe I am the ignorant one, maybe I am missing the messages and the messengers and if this is the case I really want someone to let me know. However for right now I must say that the media here in the ATL is really pissing me off!

Let me be clear, while I am pro-black I am definitely NOT anti-white so don’t leave me any negative comments about this I just want to make sure that we live up to our name here in Atlanta as The Black Mecca!!!!

Remember to love one another and keep your head up!!!!

The Time To Be Thankful

Well I know that everyone is probably talking about being thankful since we are less than 24 hours from Thanksgiving but I wanted to put my spin on it as well. In 2008 many people may feel that they don’t have too much to be thankful for, let’s see……. the home foreclosure rate is ridiculous, unemployment is off the chain, the stock market has gone bonkers, and to top it all off, President Bush is pardoning everyone except the ones who really need it.

Tonight as I finish posting a homework assignment and looking at my mother who is 57 years old whither away in front me I am thankful. With ALL that is going on in my life I must be thankful for the good and not so good. I was watching Dr. Jamal Bryant today and he made an excellent point. He said that many times when things are going wrong or not as we want we often ask God, “Why Me”. However when thing are going fantastically well, we never ask the good question, “Why Me”. I said to myself, WOW, I mean something so simple yet I never thought about it that way. When I had money to burn and clothes flowing out of the closet, I can never remember asking the question, “Why Me” to God so know I can not ask “Why Me” when things are not going as planned. Now I have to ride this wave out and be thankful that I am still here to enjoy the ride.  So tomorrow, November 27, 2008, when you are sitting with family and friends or sitting alone, eating turkey and all the trimmings or eating a peanut butter and jelly sandwich just be thankful.  Be thankful that you continue to have life and since you have life can work on that master plan to take you to that next level but just be thankful.

After writing this entry I am going to get on my knees and thank my heavenly father that I am here and while everything is not exactly how I want it I know that if I am thankful for the things that I have today then tomorrow will bring bigger and better opportunities and situations. God sometimes asks the same question as well, “Why Me”, why do you only talk to me when you are in trouble or down or even broke, why can’t you thank me everyday for the good and the bad, the ups and the downs, the ins and the outs!!!! Lets not just wait for the third Thursday in November to remember to be thankful for EVERYTHING, even if everything is one thing, lets be thankful everyday!!!

Remember to keep your head up and love one another.

Are You Ready To Go Back To School??????

This morning my best friend Tasha sent me this and after reading it I had to send it out for everyone else to read. She really makes a great point and hopefully we all will heed her suggestion to “Go Back To School”.

Enjoy!

As I sit hear and listen to the Obama’s interview from 60 minutesI suddenly want to get pen and paper to take notes.  I admire both of them for not being ashamed to show how much they love each other, their kids, extended family and community.  Throughout my life I have gone through and witnessed that we as black people have had such a disconnect with our families and our community.  How can we stand up and support a man we know only through media and television but will not do the same for people we touch, see and talk to on a regular basis.  We can not ask the Obama’s to lead the vast journey of change with out doing our part.  Yes we campaigned and voted but it does not stop there.  Before they are President and First Ladythey are husband, wife, father, mother, son, daughter, brother, sister, uncle, aunt, friend and Hero.  Now is the time to show our kids that they do not have to wait to see the Obama’s on television or in newspapers and magazine to see Black hero’s!  We can show them the same greatness at home by being a better husband, wife, father, mother, son, daughter, brother, sister, uncle, aunt, friend and Community supporter.  So on this day of November 17, 2008 I challenge you to make a stand with me as I put change in my home, my family, my job, my community and in me to show our kids and non-believers that change is possible and it will do greatness!!!!!

President Obama said it best in a piece from his victory speech on the great night of November 4, 2008!

“This victory alone is not the change we seek. It is only the chance for us to make that change. And that cannot happen if we go back to the way things were. It can’t happen without you, without a new spirit of service, a new spirit of sacrifice. So let us summon a new spirit of patriotism, of responsibility, where each of us resolves to pitch in and work harder and look after not only ourselves but each other.”

Remember to keep your head up and love one another!!!

My Idea.

A few weeks ago I decided to create a ning network for unemployed individuals. A place where people could vent, support, advertise, or just anything about unemployment. This site would be geared for individuals who are unemployed or underemployed. Individuals often ask what is underemployed? Underemployed is the person who has a family of 5 but only makes minimum wage or that person with 3 degrees who makes $10 per hour or maybe that person who knows in her heart of hearts that her dream career is out there but works for a minuscule amount of cash. Anyone who works but still not enough to make ends meet is certainly underemployed.

Nevertheless, I decided to start Employment101 to create an environment for these folks. Well today on television, I see that one of the major morning shows is creating something very similar to this. Well, I began to say….. Hey, that’s my idea!!! Yeah, I know there are probably a handful of people reading this saying, hell that’s my idea!! The point I am attempting to make is, so what. Yeah it’s my idea, their idea, and your idea but what am I going to do about it. Well, I am going to support MY IDEA, Employment101. I am going to tell everyone I know to tell everyone they know to tell everyone they know to visit Employment101 at www. employment101.ning.com, join it and love it. We have to play it forward and because you didn’t qualify for that job doesn’t mean that someone else doesn’t. We all have to help out to get someone to the next level. My hope is that my idea will help someone or many ones to get through this financial turmoil and maybe they will go back and dust off Their Idea which may lead them to financial independence.

So my advice is to not give up on your idea, even if everyone has that same idea, it still is not your idea and you want to make sure you support you!!!

Remember to keep your head up and love one another!!!

OJ Who??

As an African American female I want to inform America that the black community is not interested in OJ Simpson. After getting off for murder 13 years ago he should have served the role of a silent saint. How many individuals would taunt the legal system the way OJ Simpson has since he walked out of that court room 13 years ago. But simply for the record Black America is simply asking, OJ Who???

Most Americans, black or white have too much to contend with in 2008 than to exert time and energy on OJ Simpson. I am currently spending time to write about him simply to set the record straight for any individuals who may sit and wonder, why aren’t people really discussing this case, it’s because we don’t care. To give my white readers some information from the past. Really, most black people truly believed that OJ was guilty 13 years ago but it simply felt good to see a black man finally beat a system that has a long history of treating blacks especially black men in an unfair manner. Quiet as kept if White America wouldn’t have been so intent on seeing another black man go to jail then you would have noticed that most of us wanted the same thing, JUSTICE.  If  those same individuals would have spent half of that energy protesting against the racism that occurs daily in courts around America instead of being upset that a black man killed a white woman then it wouldn’t have been such a racially divided case.

I do have a few ideas for any person who is interested in OJ and this case.

1) Get Involved In The 2008 Presidential Election, let’s go OBAMA!!!

2) Vote on or before November 4, 2008.

3) Participate in a Breast Cancer Awareness Month event in October.

4 Donate your money, time or talent to a worthy non profit organization. (There’s always Xposure Youth Foundation, Inc if you don’t know of any) shameless plug:)!!!

Remember to keep your head up and love one another!!!

Who Said Pink Is Just For Girls??

As a child of the 70’s I grew up with the notion that pink was for girls but that was over 30 years ago. Who said pink is just for girls? Today things have changed and pink surely looks nice on men. Many designers share my thought as one finds men clothing in various shades of pink. Pink is not only a nice color but a commemorative color when placed on pins, bracelets, shirts, watches, etc.  We are now in the month of October which in National Breast Cancer Awareness Month. This is the time to wear pink and wear it proud in observance of this event.

Who said pink is just for girls….well I didn’t because I love to see a man dawning a pink ribbon pin on the lapel of his custom made suit with his silk tie and Italian leather belt and shoes, ohhhh what a site!!! Or perhaps he’s wearing a pink t-shirt while participating in a 5k walk in support of a breast cancer organization.  He may even have on a pink sport coat while attending a breast cancer awareness fundraising event supporting survivors and remembering those who succumb to the disease. 

Pink is the color of the month and we all must be sure to participate. For me I wear my pink watch the entire month of October regardless of the outfit.  Who said pink is just for girls? Surely not as girls, boys, women, and men should join in and wear pink this month to observe Breast Cancer Awareness Month.  In addition to wearing pink there are many events taking place throughout the month across the country in celebration of Breast Cancer Awareness Month to participate in.  If you find it difficult to wear pink or participate in an event then make a financial donation to a cancer charity of your choice. Just don’t let the month elapse and you have not done anything to observe the month and please if you are a man don’t be afraid of PINK!!

Remember to keep your head up and love one another!!!

For Those Who Are Unemployed or Underemployed

As I sit here and watch the Sunday Night Football game, Eagles vs Bears, my mind begins to wander. I am coming to you all today asking what happens to those who are unemployed or underemployed in this crazy and uncertain economy.  For this segment of the population things may seem a little bleak because bills may not be paid, the grocery cart is not as full or the extras are few and far in between. For those who are constantly seeking employment, looking for just about anything because you have a family you are responsible for…..keep your head. Let me tell you, you are definitely not out here alone and you are surely not a rare breed. In this bizarre financial situtation the economy does not have selective memory, anyone can be affected, from those who make 6 figures to those earning minimum wage. If you are affected just remember to BELIEVE that things can and will get better.

If you don’t pray, my first bit of advice is to start and start now. Stop reading this blog and get on your knees and pray. After you pray, start reading the Bible. If you don’t read the Bible then start NOW, stop reading my blog and get to a Bible. If you don’t own a Bible borrow someone elses or read the Bible online. After praying and reading just continue BELIEVING!!! Believe that God will turn things around. I know that I am meant to live a RICH life and as the Secret states, I am not suppose to worry about how I am going to become rich, I am simply suppose to declare it and believe it. So if you are at your wits end and it appears that everyone around you is unable to feel what you are feeling or understand where you are coming from, don’t worry there is someone here in cyberspace who truly relates and can say to you , TRUST and BELIEVE for there is nothing else to do. While blogging is a form of therapy for me and reading a blog may be for you, you have to find your “out”. The one or few things that you take part of that allows you not to think about everything that is going on or not going on. Don’t allow the negativity to receive more energy than the positive.

While you continue to search for employment by visiting Monster, Jobs, or any other online employment site don’t get discouraged. Honestly it may take a while and a long while but you can not allow your circumstance to dictate your outlook. Choose to be happy and joyous, choose to go out and enjoy free events, choose to read a book and take a trip in your mind, choose to eat a frozen meal and act as if you are at a 5 star restaurant or if all else fails choose to write a letter to your Congressman/woman and ask for some of that bailout money as you can utilize it more than those companies…choose to outwit your CURRENT situation for this is not your PERMANENT situation. Choose to live your life like it’s GOLDEN for trouble don’t last always!!!

Remember to keep your head up and love one another!

Where Have You Been????

This is probably a question that many of my readers are asking….where have you been? I have been absent from blog land for a few weeks and simply trying to make it happen out here. With all that has been going on in the world I have simply been trying to make it happen as many of you have. Over the past few weeks, we have seen a women become a candidate for Vice-President, states damaged from hurricanes, the financial collapse of major corporations and the US miraculously discover money to bail other companies out.

I have been on bended knee lately, more so than usual with all of this taking place because with all of this compounded on my everyday issues I have to stay prayed up. If not then you all may see me on the news doing something totally out of character. Things like, going into a bank and reenacting “Set it Off” or acting like Rick Ross and taking on the career of “The Big Boss” or perhaps taking on the name of Heidi Fleisch and recruiting a gang of girls, or simply getting me a cup and taking on the role of your local neighborhood pan handler!!! This is why I MUST stay prayed up or I might just fall off.

Well, we all know that falling off is not an option for me or anyone else because life gives us not only lemons but onions, maneur and donkeys!!! What are we going to do, just sit around with a sour look on our faces or begin to make lemonade, sell onions, plant some crops and ride around town looking for the next come up, we are going to do the later. Life is rough, no life is damn hard but as humans we are rough, tough and resilient. I was reminded of this today as I listened to my son whistle a tune and sing a song all while writing sentences since he is on punishment. It made me laugh because he could have been mad and very perturbed since that is all he can do today but no, he took his punishment in stride and made the best of it. Life lesson 101 from a seven year old boy!!

Where have I been? I’ve been learning, learning from life, learning how to run game on the major game player himself…LIFE. I have been pushing myself not to give up as that would be the easy route to take but I will put a little more elbow grease in the game and look forward to my ultimate reward……SUCCESS!

Remember to keep your head up and love one another!!!